Cats and Nations
by ilikepantostado
Summary: France triggered England and England missed France with his spell. Now America has to deal with it. Then some random stuff happens.
1. Green Light

**Hi, this is my first story so it might not be very good, but I will try my hardest to write it well.**

 **I, don't own Hetalia...**

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The day started out normally for America. He gently but firmly smacked the alarm clock on his bedside table and grabbed Texas, his glasses. He got up out of bed, stretched, and immediately went to make himself some breakfast. He yawned loudly as the coffee brewed itself and he grabbed something from his fridge. It just happened to be a burger that he popped into the microwave.

As he waited for his stuff to finish cooking, he ran his fingers through his messy, sandy blond hair, and fiddled with Nantucket, his cowlick.

When to coffee finished itself, he poured the beverage into a bright red, white, and blue mug, and added way too much sugar. Then he grabbed the burger out of the microwave as soon as it beeped.

There was a G8 meeting today, and of course it just happened to be held in his country. They could've chosen anybody else but no. Russia's psychotic smile had convinced all the other countries not to have it at his place.

America mumbled something along the lines of 'stupid commie pig' under his breath and marched to his room while drinking his coffee and eating his burger at the same time. At least it was warm and sunny outside.

He slowly but surely put on his usual meeting clothes, complete by his favorite brown bomber jacket. He smiled to himself as he played some more with Nantucket, and finished his breakfast. The blue eyed nation took his phone out of his pocket and checked the time.

"Oh poop poupie."

He was going to be late, again. The meeting started in three minutes and the time was 6:57. So, America sped to the meeting building as fast as he could while staying under the speed limit. Which is very difficult if you are the personification of the United States of America.

He barged into the building running as fast as he could, going around people almost as fast as the flash.

"Sorry dude! Sorry! Excuse me dudette!" gasped America.

He decided against taking the elevator, and instead jumped up the stairs, four steps at a time.

He didn't need to look for the correct room since he had realized a few decades ago that the rooms that any meeting was being held held in, always had very loud arguing coming from inside them.

He stopped as he heard the stairwell door close behind him, and he listened for the distant yelling of a British man, the screaming of an Italian, and the koling of a Russian.

Then he heard obnoxious laugh of a Frenchman and knew exactly where the meeting room was. He started running at the speed of sound again, dodging random people that were walking down the hallway.

Who cared if they gave him funny looks? All that mattered was that he was the hero and that he had to get to the meeting and dazzle everyone with his awesome ideas.

He raced past a few doors, turned left into the second hallway, and stopped at the seventh door on the right.

America took a few seconds to listen to some of the yells coming from inside before proceeding to enter.

He shoved the doors open, was about to announce his presence, and then he was blasted in the face with bright green light. America turned away and stumbled back into the hallway. He crashed into the wall across from the room and felt Texas fall off his face.

America felt a searing pain in his head and down his back. He could barely hear anything. He heard indistinct voices yelling next to him. He turned his head and saw Canada and Italy were standing next to him. They were both clearly looking at America, but he couldn't see where.

"America? Can you hear me? America!" yelled Canada.

"Y-yeah," Whispered America.

His head hurt. A lot. America just wanted to sleep.

Italy said something, but America didn't hear it. He had lost consciousness.

* * *

 **So there we go! The first chapter of my first fanfiction finished! This may or may not have slight pairings in it, so don hurt or kill me through the computer. I still want to live.**

 **Please review. I'll appreciate it. And you get a free-digital-toast.**


	2. Normal Meeting

**Second chapter is here! Great. Took way too long than it should've.**

 **Italicized is thinking text.**

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The Meeting Room

5 Minutes Earlier

Nobody was quiet in the meeting as usual. It was complete and utter chaos, like usual, minus the hero and loud laughing from a certain American.

Russia was doing the kolkolkol and was holding a yelling and slightly scared China, that he had forced to come. Italy was rambling on about pasta and white flags next to Germany, who was pinching the bridge of his nose while a vein in his forehead was close to popping. Japan was speaking as loudly as he could without yelling at Italy to stop annoying Germany.

The only person who was actually quiet was Canada, and that was because he was chowing down on a massive pile of pancakes with a huge overdose of maple syrup. Kumajiro was currently sleeping on his lap.

Of course, that left England and France to fighting with each other from across the table, France being closest to the entrance. Both of the were standing up and the fight was really intense.

"Stop insulting my queen you wanker!" England shouted.

France took a sip from the glass of wine he had somehow brought in the conference building before responding with, "'The Black Sheep of Europe' is talking smartly."

"BLOODY FROG I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!" yelled England.

"I think it suits you very well 'Black Sheep of Europe', ohonhonhonhonhonhonhon." replied France. "You do have all your fake friends to complain to about your problems, and ever-crumbling fashion sense, don't you?"

England fumed more than that time he had France had cut his hair. The guy really pissed him off a lot. How dare he insult all of his friend? They were one hundred percent real and everyone knew it! Well, some people did at least.

France and England had done numerous nasty things to each other over the decades that they had lived next to each other. Such as probably having more wars than any other countries ever before. They also annoyed the hell out of each other, fought over colonies, and criticized each other's cooking.

England just wanted to shove one of his scones down France's pitiful esophagus. That could show him!

But The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is a wizard, and he didn't happen to bring any of his scones with him. There also wasn't a kitchen in the conference room, even if Italy somehow had hot pasta with himself.

Of course nobody but his brothers, Norway, and Romania believed in magic, but England had many years of experience in spells and witchcraft. Sure some of his spells might not have worked, but they did most of the time, didn't they? Summoning Russia was pretty much the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

There were many people over the years that England thought should have deserved a good curse or two. The frog, was a whole different story though. Countless times, literally over and over, England wished he had done something.

Now this time France had insulted him, and England was not just going to stand there and do nothing.

England reached into his pocket and firmly gripped the wand that he always kept with himself.

As he pulled the wand it out of his pocket, the golden-yellow star tip started glowing a bright green.

He snickered evilly, "Now you've asked for it."

France knew he was most likely screwed, so he took the opportunity to finish his wine glass, before placing it down on the table away from himself in order to not get a glass shard to the face.

England whipped the wand up and pointed it straight at France's slightly nervous looking face. His smile widened as he started to chant one of the curses that he knew.

England had only memorized a few spells and curses, and they were the basic, easy to remember ones. Plus he wasn't that good at memorizing ancient Latin and gibberish like Romania and Norway, so he did what he could and remembered the words for a simple yet humiliating curse.

He yelled some impossible to understand words, and the wand glowed even brighter, before launching a blast of green magic straight towards France.

By then, everyone was watching, and were nervous about their safety around the annoyed Brit. So nobody expected France to dive to the left, just barely missing the magic by a few inches (or centimeters for non-Americans).

 _Damn, almost got the frog._

England almost did hit France, but unfortunately, the doors opened right after the spell missed, to reveal America.

It seemed like time froze for a moment. Ou could see the look in his eyes go from happy, to terrified. The green orb flying right towards America, the other nations getting up as fast as they could to try and stop the magic.

It was over pretty quickly. America flew back into the hallway, Canada and Italy ran to his side, and England fell to his knees.

"What have I done?"

* * *

 **Hahahah! Cliffhanger! I know, I'm really evil to you guys. Can't help it though, since it seems like a good place to stop. This was basically the back story for the 'triggering of the pirate'. Feel free to kill me now.**

 **RowerLovesAstronomy: I know exactly how you feel! Except for me it's not water, it's just trying to avoid all the younger kids with their fidget spinners. Toast for you! *hurls through screen***

 **LunaNight23: Thanks! Random plot bunnies can get good sometimes. Here's your toast. *tosses through screen***

 **Kayoticxs: I mean all world meetings are usually like this, right? Also, here's your toast. *flings through screen***

 **This story will try to remain finger-spinner-free…**


	3. Comfort Me

**Ummmmmmmmm. Wow. People actually like my story. I think I'm happy with myself.**

 ** _Italics means thinking._**

* * *

Holy mother of Russia, did America hurt. He felt like all his bones had just been filled with adamantium(for the wolverine fans like myself).

If you've ever been thrown into a wall like a rag doll by magic, fallen to the floor, and then hit your head on the ground, you would know what it felt like.

The funny thing was, it was over as soon as he felt it.

America blacked out for a total time of about 2.376 seconds, before coming back to reality. The unnecessary reason for this was because he is just about the strongest country.

He opened his eyes and was greeted with the sound of people almost yelling right into his ears. It was really loud for him, even if it was a G8 meeting. America could even hear Canada as if he was talking in a normal voice!

"Alfred! Thank goodness you're okay. You woke up pretty quickly though, eh?" said Canada. He knelt down next to his brother in concern.

"Ve~! America you're alive! Yay, now we can eat pasta! Si Doitsu?" Italy yelled as he dropped to his knees.

America's ears still really hurt, so he replied, "Cheeses crust Matt, could you please stop talking so loudly?"

Then it got quiet. It was scary quiet. Except for the occasional 'Ve~', nobody was saying anything.

America sat up on the ground and put Texas back on.

Weird, they used to stay on better than this, thought America.

He looked over Italy's shoulder to see that all the countries were looking at him. Even Russia wiped that creepy smile off his face and was staring at him. Well not at America, but right above him.

Since America was too busy looking at the others' facial expressions, he didn't see Italy reach up to his head. The he began to pet America.

He didn't know why, but America felt like it was the best thing in the world. He pushed his head against Italy's hand-wait, was America PURRING?

He slapped Italy's hand away and shook his head. He had been purring like a cat?

"What the hell?" he whisper-yelled. By now everyone who came to the conference was out in the hallway.

Japan looked around at all the countries before deciding it was safe to talk and said, "America, I think you may want to feel your head for a moment."

 _Feel my head?_ Thought America. _I mean, whatever but…_

He tentatively lifted his right hand and reached up. He ran his hands through his hair about three inches before bumping into something. He brought up his second hand felt two pointy, furry things, sticking out of his head.

He brought both of his hands down to the side of his head, just where his glasses were. It was completely flat.

Now he started panicking. His ears were gone and there were thingies on his head for Hamilton's sake!

He grabbed the phone out of his pocket and turned it on. He went to the camera and switched it to selfie mode. He could clearly see himself now, along with two, sandy blond, cat ears.

His hands trembled slightly as he looked closer. Those were definitely cat ears on his head. So if he had cat ears, did he have a tail?

America turned his head so he could see behind himself and he saw a long tail, the same color as his ears, waving around. It was most likely connected to him.

England slowly walked over and put his hand on America's shoulder.

"Alfred, are you alright lad?" he said.

He looked up at England.

"No, I'm not 'alright lad', I have fricken cat ears on my head and a tail," America's voice rose towards a yell as he talked. "I purred when Italy touched me, and even Matthew sounded loud to me. Does it look like I'll be okay? Does it sound like I'll be okay?"

England gulped, "I'm sorry America. I accidentally put a spell on you while trying to hit the frog."

France summoned a rose from inside his clothes and pretended to silently cry into it before waggling his eyebrows at the oblivious Englishman.

America breathed deeply, "Uh, yeah, cool story Iggy, but could you please make me normal again? I don't want to be stuck half cat for the rest of my life."

He obviously wasn't feeling too good about himself. America had never been so embarrassed in his two hundred plus years of life. He could practically see Russia's smirk behind his scarf and China's laughing face, ready to shame him about this forever.

America just wanted to dig himself a hole under a rock and cry there forever, or till he ran out of tears to cry with.

His tail dropped to the ground, and his ears dropped to the sides of his head as they mirrored his feelings at the moment.

Canada was no cat expert, but living with Kumajiro had taught him a few things on how animals behaved when they felt different emotions. If polar bear expressions were anything similar to those of a cat's, then that meant that his brother was feeling down in the dumps. That hardly ever happened to the world superpower.

America kept throwing glances around the room at the different nations, most of all Russia, as if he were nervous.

He was embarrassed of his current state.

Canada leaned forward on his knees and gave his brother a firm hug.

"Don't be embarrassed Al, you're still my brother and you are no matter how many spells England puts you under."

America wasn't expecting a hug, so he hesitated in returning the action. England joined them soon after, followed by France, Italy, and all the other nations. Even Russia and Germany patted America's back in reassurance.

"So, what should I do now?" questioned America after the group disassembled itself. "I mean I can't go out looking like this, I would just scare the crap out of people."

Germany looked at his watch and sighed, "Well, we're only 14 minutes into the meeting, so I suppose we should just finish it, and then we will talk about your situation."

The other nations looked at each other. They all mentally agreed with each other.

"Alright then, let us proceed to the meeting room!" Yelled Germany.

Everybody scrambled to their seats as fast as they could, except for America, who walked up to the podium. Being the host country, it was normal of him to start.

He managed to calm his waving appendage, and presented his speech.

The meeting's topic was supposed to be about food safety regulations, but nobody really wanted to talk about that.

Everyone was trying to occupy themselves with something. Whether it was thinking of new ways to sneak stuff into meetings or playing with cat ears, all the countries were trying to occupy themselves.

Russia was holding back China from running away, China was struggling to get out of the Russian's grip without yelling, Italy was doodling things on pictures of other countries' presidents and leaders that he brought with himself, England was talking to his magical friends using sign language, France was practicing flirting with Japan, and the latter was karate chopping the air kisses while trying to focus on Germany's presentation.

America was just trying to figure himself out.

If someone else was presenting, Germany was looking up 'HRE is Germany' theories on his laptop and getting completely confused.

Literally nobody was paying attention, and they were all surprised when a certain somebody burst into the room.

France was just about to flirt with Italy when doors flew open.

"Yo West! I came to light up the crappy mood!"

"Goddammit," muttered America. "Now the whole internet is going to know."

* * *

 **Dun, dun, DUUUUUUN! Bet you didn't see the awesomeness coming. Now you can think about what will happen next, since I need to write some more chapters. I got a Plato bunny for a new story and told my sister about it. She listened to me talk about it for an entire half hour while we were hiking in Slovenia.**

 **Also don't ask me if I think HRE is Germany, just watch 'the history of the entire world I guess'. Please, if you do, I will end this story. I don't lie.**


	4. Predator Alert

The awesomeness of this chapter was almost too much for me to handle. You were warned.

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The albino Prussian strolled into the meeting room, head held high, while holding a hand-held flashlight. He really was serious when he said he was going to light up the mood.

America thought that he was screwed for sure. If there was another country who knew the internet almost as good as he did, it was Prussia.

Italy finally sensed the mood for the first time in his life, and used his white-flag-mass-production-skills to protect America from the impending picture taking.

He grabbed one of the many flags that he had with himself and almost tore off the fabric and slipped it over America's head, and tied the ends under his chin together. Now nobody could see the ears on top of his head. Luckily he was sitting only two seats away.

The sudden pressure on his newly acquired cat ears alarmed the American and he turned to give Italy a questioning look, but he had already gone back to giving Trump a beard.

Prussia stopped and gave America a confused look.

"Yo, America, why do you have a cloth on your head that makes you look like a little maid girl? You okay or what?"

America shifted uncomfortably in his chair so you couldn't see the tail and looked into Prussia's red eyes.

"Well dude, you see," he thought for a moment before proceeding. "Italy bet me that if he could sing my entire national anthem backwards while eating pasta, poking Germany with Russia's magical metal pipe of pain, and bon dancing, I would have to wear one of his white flags for the rest of the day," America put on a smile to make it seem legitimate.

Prussia looked at Italy in amazement and then laughed.

"Wow, I want to see that someday!"

He turned back to look at Germany and smirked.

"Anyway, here you go. Help me out mein bruder!" and Prussia flung a second flashlight at him.

Germany fumbled a bit with the flashlight before finally getting a grip on it. At the same time, Prussia had thrown one at every single other person in that room, including Canada. France was the only one who was happy about getting one.

"Now let's light this place up!" yelled Prussia, and started waving the light around maniacally.

That spot of light waving around, sparked America's feline instincts. His pupils dialated and his head moved around to face the light, wherever in the room that it was. He felt himself becoming more and more restless as Prussia laughed. All that was holding him from jumping up and running after the light was his humanity.

Yet even that had to run out eventually.

The next time that it passed in front of him, America sprung up from his seat and onto the table like a jackrabbit, making papers fly everywhere.

He leaped after the light, which was now in front of Russia.

America's a cute kitty, isn't he China?"

"Ayia! Let me go!"

He landed on it and cupped his hands over where he thought it was. He peeked under his hands, and after seeing nothing there, turned around to see a stunned Prussia.

The white flag had flown off America's head during his frenzy, completely exposing his ears, and his tail was waving around behind him.

Prussia tried saying something, but all that came out of his mouth was a weird noise like something Gilbird would make. Speaking of which, Gilbird was seated on Prussia's head.

Seeing the bird on his head made America go into predator mode. He slowly crept forward, never taking his eyes off Gilbird.

Prussia finally got out of the initial shock of seeing a half cat America and realized that his awesome companion was about to have a conference with death if he didn't do anything.

He protectively held Gilbird to his chest and yelled, "Oh nein, you're not eating mein awesome bird! Get back you katze!"

America didn't take notice and kept getting closer. His Hollywood white teeth visibly sharpened as the sun reflected off them, and his nails sharpened into claws.

England stood up and pulled America off the table by his collar before he got any closer. America hissed but England wasn't fazed.

"America snap out of it! Are a country or an animal? I'm sorry for cursing you, just please come back to us!"

When he heard this, America's teeth returned to normal and his pupils came back to a regular size. His claws shortened themselves and became normal nails. He looked around at everyone's shocked faces, and in Prussia's case, terrified face. His ears flattened to the sides of his head in shame. America gently pushed England away and walked over to Prussia.

Prussia took a step back and put Gilbird behind his back.

America sighed, "Sorry for almost eating you bird dude, I don't know what got into me. You see, Iggy put this curse on me and he still hasn't told me how to get rid of it, and I don't really know all of the effects from it."

The other looked at him skeptically, before deciding that America probably wasn't some dangerous monster-demon that was coming to punish him for shooting Lithuania in the head with an arrow when they were kids.

Prussia's usual smirk returned to his face and he brought Gilbird back out, "That's actually pretty cool man, it's actually pretty awesome if I say so myself and I do say so myself."

America smiled his million dollar smile and petted Gilbird.

"So, could we get back to the meeting now please? Bruder, since you're here, you can stay. Just don't say anything, alright?" announced Germany.

"Oh, right. Sorry dude!"

"Yah, sorry little bro."

America went back to his seat and Prussia found an extra chair somewhere in the room, which he pulled up next to Italy to watch Angela Merkle get a mustache.

The rest of the meeting went as normal as a Hetalia meeting could get, without another bad hiccup.

* * *

Another chapter, and this time, NO CLIFF HANGER. I was feeling particularly nice today.

Translation time…

Mein - Mine

Nein - No

Katze - Cat

I probably missed one, to be honest.

Happy Canada Day eh!


	5. Jumping Skills

**I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER. I HAVE TO WORK ON A PROJECT FOR SCHOOL AND PLAY MY SAXOPHONE AND PIANO. ALSO I HAVE TO SPEND TIME WITH MY SISTER. Sorry about the caps.**

* * *

As soon as the meeting was finished, Italy ran over to Germany and started pestering him. Except this time he wasn't talking about pasta like usual.

"Hey Germany, could I please spend some time with America please, I feel like he needs some help with his current situation. Also, you need to eat more of your wurst that is taking up place in the refrigerator," Italy said in his singsong voice.

Germany stopped putting away his papers for a second to look at the Italian for a moment. He was genuinely surprised with him, and if he wanted to help out America, Germany might finally be able to get some rest.

After a few moments of cheering inside his head, Germany stood up straight and put his hand on Italy's shoulder.

"Alright, you can go with him, but if I hear that the world's last remaining superpower had so many carbs that he died, I will make sure you never have pasta again."

Italy trembled a bit and his curl visibly dropped because of Germany's hard stare. He looked down and then back up, a huge smile on his face.

"Ve~, thank you Doitsu!" cheered Italy and gave the larger nation a hug.

Then he ran away and Germany was left standing there trying to comprehend his comrade's strange ways.

...Meanwhile...

England was scolding America for eating 46 burgers after the meeting had ended.

"Why must you eat such greasy food bloody hell! I thought I had raised you better than that."

America stopped chewing and responded, "Well, it's not like your food is any better, I mean, you burn ice cream. How is that even possible?"

England fumed, "MY COOKING IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO THIS WORLD!"

"Shush, sheesh. Stop, get some help," America replied.

Then he stiffened. His ears swiveled, listening, for something. He could've sworn he heard something. Sure enough, he heard the noise again. Someone creeping up behind him, as if they didn't want to be heard. Then he heard a quiet laugh.

"America, were you even listening to me?" yelled the furious Brit.

Faster than the Flash, America jumped backwards, much higher than he intended, and landed right on the attacker's shoulders. Both of them fell to the ground, America sitting on the other person's back, the other had face planted.

"America, are you okay? Bloody hell, will you ever learn not to grope people you wanker!" yelled England.

America looked to see who he was sitting on. It was France.

"You bloody frog, stupid Frenchy! You were lucky you didn't go for me!" England continued to ramble.

France finally lifted his head, looking as sparkly as ever and said, "Amérique, would you mind getting off me, s'il vous plaît?"

"Uhhhhh, right, sorry dude," said America. He stumbled off France, who proceeded to dust himself and then went over to annoy England.

America's tail waved back and forth in frustration as England had completely forgotten about telling him how to fix himself. Instead, he had gone about insulting his food. If only England knew that America had made the burgers from scratch, maybe then he would've gotten some more respect.

He sat down and waited for England to stop hitting France over the head with a book.

As soon as he finished, England walked over to the chair where America was sitting, playing Pokémon Go on his phone.

He sighed, "Alright America. So the spell I put on you, by accident of course, will only last for a week. In that time, I suggest that you not let anybody but us see you to avoid being branded as a hybrid of some sort."

America sulked a little and put his phone away, "Why for a week? Can't you just change me back now?"

"If I tried to turn you back now there would be a 100 percent chance that you would die. So unless you want to be blown apart into bits, you will wait this whole week until the spell wears off," England replied. "Also, would you please sit up straight?"

America straightened up a little and took his phone back out to watch TheOdd1sOut.

Unfortunately for him, Italy interrupted and started to talk at a million miles per hour.

"Hello there America! Can I come stay at your house? I want to help you out and I really like kitties, so, please?"

After putting his phone back in his pocket, America looked up at Italy's smiling face.

"Uh, sure. I don't mind you coming to stay with me awhile," he said. "After all, I've heard from Japan that you're really good at taking care of cats."

Italy did his little 'Ve~' before conjuring a plate of pasta and proceeding to stuff his mouth with it.

America stood up and started walking towards the door, Italy in tow. He was still eating pasta. The sooner he could get out, the better. He was tired and had eaten all his hamburgers.

Just as he was about to open the door, he heard somebody calling him.

"Bro, wait up!"

Recognizing his brother, America turned around.

"Dude, Mattie, I could actually understand you."

"So, Al, I Heard Italy is going to help you," whispered Canada. "Can I help too?"

"Aww, no problem dude! Of course you can help!"

By that point Italy had finished his pasta and started playing with America's new tail. He lightly petted it, trying not to hurt the larger country.

"Um, Italy, you can do than when we get to my house 'kay?" America muttered nervously.

Italy immediately stopped and started crying.

"AHHHHHHH! I'M SORRY AMERICA I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU ANGRY PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT MEEEEEEEE!" Wailed the Italian.

America deadpanned and patted the crying country on the head."Calm down please, and let's go."

Canada nodded and followed his brother out the door. Italy sniffled and went after them, eating another plate of pasta.

"Italy, I got a question for ya," Canada asked. "How do you get pasta into the meeting?"

"AHHHHHHHH! DOITSU HELP, A GHOST IS TALIKNG TO ME!" Italy screeched.

Canada sighed and petted Kumajiro.

* * *

 **Again, I'm apologizing for the late update. I am a horrible person. Hopefully this will make me feel better.**

 **And yes, the bird almost died. Don't worry though, no birds were harmed in the writing of this crappy fanfic!**


	6. AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE READ

I'm so sorry people for not updating in a long time! I just have a lot of stuff to worry about, but do not fear! I will update this and I will finish this story. It may take a while, but thank you for being patient with me.

This 'chapter' will be deleted once I upload the next real chapter.

Thanks for supporting me!

~ilikepantostado


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